Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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