I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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