We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
