i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Randomize
