yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
