Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
