did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize