trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
