Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
