Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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