My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
