you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize