love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
