All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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