so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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