i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
