i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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