Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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