Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I FOUND THE LEGS
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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