i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i drank out of a bidet.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
