So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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