So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
