Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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