I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
