im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
