Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
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