I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
