I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We had sex on a dog bed..
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
