My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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