i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
