i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
