No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
