So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
