She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
