if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
