omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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