Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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