Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
