Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
