i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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