I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
