She's JV to your varsity
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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