Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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