Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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