it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize