so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
