I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
