...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
