Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
