i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Even my vagina gasped.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
