Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize