areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
