I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
