I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
