I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
