I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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