Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
