How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
