He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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