Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
