I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
