I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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