I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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