i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
