i don't like sucking hair
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
