Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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