did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
