she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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