I think I died a long time ago.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
