You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
