dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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