I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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