i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
