I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
