I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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