But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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